100 word challenge#13

The window slammed shut then suddenly there it was a half alien half frankinstine. The crimpled hands when down my face. Then I fanted with shock who are you it said in the blackness are you the one who I shall feast on. BANG!! I hured a gun shot there was my brother laying on the mopped floor. I slowly picked him up he said one word wich was BBBBBEWARE. Hi felt his heart stop he was gone I cried in pain thinking how will I ever be able to protect myself. NNNNOOOOOOO. Why oh Why . By By Brother.

2 thoughts on “100 word challenge#13

  1. Mrs. Vreeland@ Team 100 USA

    Your creature sounds very frightening. Does it have a name? Your story is very spooky and scary. I can see it easily being transformed into a graphic novel or comic. I especially love the onomatopoeia. That is a great feature of graphic and comic texts. You may want to go back and check some of your spelling. Wonderful piece; keep up the good work.

  2. Jane Hewitt Team100WC

    Well done – you have thought about the prompt carefully and written a tension filled story. If you ask for some help with punctuation you could add even more tension by adding in pauses and exclamations. I love the image of ‘crimpled hands’ – very frightening. Well tried Jane Team 100WC Barnsley UK

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