I drownd- 100 word challenge

Me and my big brother were fighiting as useall. Obviously this was not new. We allwsays had a fight but this time it was diffrent. We were fighting about wether we were fighting or not. So mum said ” You need to sort your prblems out, I tell you what go on a walk round the river bend ” And we looked at each other and I got the felling we were thincking of the exact same thing. The thing is wait a sec, I dont think I’v told you my name im called Tom oh yeh and my brother hes called Jack. Anyway we decided to do what mum said and take a walk round the river bend. wile we were there I sepped way back from the flood plane (just in case) but you have to always put family first. I dont think jack uderstood that saying because as i was looking at the fish he pushed mr right in and my feet were stiking out the water, by the time i got home i was  soaking wet and i new it was me in troble…

13 thoughts on “I drownd- 100 word challenge

  1. Nojus

    Good work Holly I really enjoyed how you used you VCOP.

    Next time remember to read through your work to check for any mistakes.
    Also introduce your characters in the beggining of the story and try to include more emotions and feelings.

    Apart form that great work.

  2. Sophie A and Rosie

    Well done Holly! You have tried really hard with your spellings. You shold be extremely proud with yourself!
    Next time put the names of the characters at the beggining though. Well done again for doing 100 words!

    From sophie A and Rosie 😀 🙂

  3. lucie & kiara

    we loved you 100 word chalinge its awsom thats like my sister and me we fight all the time from lucie 🙂 Hello i think it was amzing and it had good wow words from kiara 🙂

  4. deanne jamie G

    We love your work,it’s faboules.You need to stop fighting.

  5. Sonny

    Good work Holly the story was great and fabulouse! I really enjoyed you work and I loved reading it. You did great but in the future it would be good to check your work for mistakes! Keep writing!!

  6. Abbie and Lilly

    Well done Holly you did very well in your 100 word challange. We like your ideas. here is a small tip: next time check your spelling but apart from that we loved the rest. 🙂

  7. Abbie and Thomas

    Well Done Holly
    You did really well on your 100 word challenge.You tried really hard on your spellings but check your work when you have finished. You did your best!
    Abbie and Thomas : )

  8. samuel

    I really like your drowned story. It was really descriptive and some good ideas. Make shore you introduce your characters names at the beggining of the story. But other than that, it was great. Keep up the good work and the writing. Very good story.

  9. conor and ellie h

    Well done holly you did very well in your 100 word chalange but maybe next time read back through your work for spellings. But apart from that you did very well. : ]

  10. Amy and Ned

    Hi Holly we like the flow of your story but next time make sure you check your spelling before you post your work. 🙂

  11. 5/6 Amethyst

    Well done Holly, Amethyst class loved your ideas.You tried really hard with your spellings but next time re- read your work . 🙂

  12. Mrs Natusch

    To Holly

    I like the flow of your story. You describe what is happening well and add descriptions so that the reader can clearly understand what is happening throughout your story.
    Next time introduce your characters names at the beginning instead of adding it in the middle of your writing.
    You add a bit of mystery in your writing because when I read through your story it makes me think of why these two children are always arguing.
    Be careful with your spelling. Make sure you read it through to fix any mistakes.
    Keep up your great writing!

    From Mrs Natusch
    Team 100WC

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